On the 24th day of Christmas

First day: pass on the pears and partridges.

Second day: keep the frickin’ turtle doves.

Third day: what the heck is a French hen anyway?

Fourth day: the birds called ... they want their gifts back.

Fifth day: hey Frodo ... what’s up with all the rings?

Sixth day: six geese-a-laying — who’s cleaning that up?

Seventh day: quack, quack, this gift is wack.

Eighth day: oh, sorry ... lactose intolerant.

Ninth day: OK, ladies ... who spiked the eggnog?

10^th day: the leaping lords have leapt the building.

11^th day: put these gifts in your pipe ...

12^th day: parumpapumpum, say NO to gifts that are dumb